Hopeful answered my message! Now what?? This is that man that had always had a piece of my heart. I loved him. I hated him for letting me go. I wanted to show him what he had missed.
We talked back and forth and finally came up with a time we could meet. I had butterflies. I dressed to impress. We had dinner that night and we have been having dinner together ever since. He made me laugh, I made him want to kiss me. The years melted away and we connected. That was almost 5 years ago.
In that time we had built a great friendship, partnership and marriage. What we hadn’t done is build a great sex life. We enjoyed each other but could never quite communicate.We worked in every other way. We each had our own misgivings about showing our true selves. For me, a sexual creature, a woman, just how was that going to be percieved? We limped along and then fell into torturous routine. I say torturous because one thing I need and crave, especially in sex is variety. It got so bad that it started to affect our marriage.
Hopeful bravely came to me one night and revealed his secret. He had always hinted at keeping a kinky secret. I knew of his sexual past and had some guesses. Never did I imagine this. He had no idea how I was going to take the news that he fantasized about being a cuck. My eyes lit up! I was so happy and relieved that this was the conversation we ended up having and not who was going to leave the house. He saved our marriage by opening up.
While he always hinted at his kinky secret, I kept all my sexual self under wraps. Hopeful thought I was an innocent vanilla girl. I had revealed parts of my true sexual self in other relationships and was met with less than welcoming attitudes. When Hopeful made himself vulnerable to me, it opened the door for me to trust him completely.
We spent days and days having multiple conversations about how we wanted to proceed. I had never really heard of cuckolding exactly. I knew about open relationships, I knew a fair amount about kinks. I spent some time as a sub and some as a Domme, but in passing casual relationships. In a strongly committed relationship, I had never successfully been able to balance my sexual kinks and desires with a partnership. Those men viewed me as a mother, wife, girlfriend but couldn’t see me as the powerful sexual creature I am.
I’ve always had a commanding way about me. I was raised by a single mother. She taught me to be fierce and independent. I was never the princess that needed rescuing.
We have been exploring the cuckolding lifestyle and living an FLR for about 7 months now. It has certainly evolved over time and I’m sure will continue to. Hopeful no longer believes that I’m a vanilla girl. He understands that I’m a dominating woman.
and our journey continues……